Boundaries Are Not What You Think

When you hear the word “boundary,” what do you think of? You might think of a wall or some other barrier (either literal or metaphorical) that secures your personal or energetic space and keeps everyone else out.Or you may think that a boundary is about controlling other people’s behavior, to ensure that they follow rules that have been agreed upon in the relationship.Or you might think of a limit—specifically, the absolute limit of what you are willing to tolerate in a given relationship or situation.Or you may think of a line where you end and other people (and their expectations) begin. And if you’re like a lot of people, you might think that boundaries are about saying “no” to other people, and therefore that they disconnect you from other people.

I am here to tell you that a boundary is none of those things.

A boundary is not a wall.A boundary is not even a limit.And a boundary is definitely not about other people.

I want to offer you a radical, life-changing, paradigm shift: 

A boundary is the energetic expression of your authentic self as it relates to honoring your needs, desires, values, and priorities.If that sentence isn’t landing with you (don’t worry, I won’t be offended), read on.

Here are some things that are true about boundaries:

Our boundaries are in service to our needs. They are what protect and support our needs in practice.Boundaries are 100% about you and your needs, wants, desires, values, and priorities… and 0% about other people or their behavior.Boundaries are about saying “yes” to something true, authentic, and alive within you.Boundaries are emergent. They emerge naturally as an expression of inner truth and are ever-changing as our needs and circumstances change.Boundaries are the container of trust in which connection and intimacy (across all types of relationships) occur joyfully and consensually. Honoring our own boundaries is an essential aspect of respecting, trusting, and partnering with ourselves.When we override our own boundaries—which may look like ignoring or not attending to our fundamental needs (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, etc…), or acting against our own values or priorities—is when we get burnt out. And finally, importantly…Burnout cannot happen when we are in integrity with our boundaries.In other words, if you’re feeling overworked, overwhelmed, exhausted, and/or burnt out, there’s a boundary issue at play.We’ll be digging into all this and more during Boundaries for Burnout: Four Weeks to Becoming More Resourced & Resilient as part of my Self-Care Summer Programming. I hope you’ll join us!

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My CURIOUSLY GUIDED podcast interview just dropped!

My CURIOUSLY GUIDED podcast interview just dropped!I am so excited to share that my interview on the Curiously Guided Podcast is finally live!​Curiously Guided, hosted by Shay Schindler and Mariah Liszewski, shares stories of curious humans dedicated to building life and business on their own terms. Mariah and Shay are are two intuitive business strategists exploring the intersection of entrepreneurship, spirituality and the subconscious mind.I was so thrilled to be able to have a chat with them — and I'm even more thrilled to be able to share it with you.​​In this episode, we discussed:

• What relational trauma is and how it’s incredibly common, yet under-recognized (more likely than not, it’s impacting you and you don’t even know it!)

• Why our authentic self-expression is so often compromised in childhood, and what this means for us as adults

• Perfectionism and people pleasing as brilliant survival adaptations (and what to do if they’re no longer serving you anymore)

• How a lack of emotional attunement when we were young can impact our self-concept and wellbeing as adults

• The importance of creating a more trauma-informed world so that we can better meet people where they are

• Plus, my journey to becoming a trauma-informed Resilience & Self Trust Coach

And so much more!Check out Episode 23 on Curiously Guided's website: Trauma 101: What is Trauma? Relational Trauma + How to Become More Trauma-Informed in Your Work with Resilience and Self-Trust Coach Lindsay Tauscher.By the way... If you have the chance to give the epsiode a listen, I would love it if you could reply to this email and let me know the #1 thing you got out of my conversation with Shay and Mariah.Can't wait to hear what you think!xo,Lindsay

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