A Note About Survival Resources
When we take the time to consider how our survival strategies have been showing up in our lives, we may become aware of how they're not really serving our highest good. Given this newfound knowledge, it can be tempting to try to do everything we can to avoid or let go of our survival strategies.
A Note About Survival ResourcesWhen we take the time to consider how our survival strategies have been showing up in our lives, we may become aware of how they're not really serving our highest good. Given this newfound knowledge, it can be tempting to try to do everything we can to avoid or let go of our survival strategies.(NOTE: If the concept of survival strategies is new to you, check out my previous post on “The Role of Survival Resources in Coping with Stress and Trauma” to learn more.)You may be familiar with the concept of "releasing what no longer serves you." While it's a well-intentioned sentiment, the reality is that we don't simply "release" our survival strategies with conscious intention alone. If we could do that, most of us would probably have done so by now.The hard—but hopefully, liberating—truth is that our survival strategies will naturally begin to soften their grip on us when we no longer need them... and not a moment sooner.Rather than making huge efforts to monitor, avoid, and interrupt our strategies, we can focus on two things that will actually support the transformation we're seeking:#1 - We can gently, gradually introduce generative resources.#2 - We can seek out the support of a trauma-informed coach, therapist, or other practitioner who can skillfully guide us to resolve the underlying impulses that are driving our survival strategies in the first place.My forthcoming workbook focuses on resources, because it's what I'm able to offer in a written format.That said, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to work with a trauma-informed practitioner. There is no replacement for having someone who can witness our hurt, affirm our humanity, and gently guide us toward healing.Ideally, we would engage with both of these approaches at once for the greatest efficacy. Especially because so much of our suffering is caused by relational wounding, having a relationship with a professional who holds you in consistent positive regard, whose sole intention is to support your healing, is absolutely essential.My full workbook on Claiming Your Resources will be released soon. Make sure you’re signed up for my mailing list to receive your copy (just scroll down to the green form beneath this post to subscribe)!Xo, Lindsay
More Posts
Claim Your Resources Now!
Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]
The Role of Survival Resources in Coping with Stress and Trauma
For many of us, our survival resources or coping mechanisms can feel compulsive, habitual, or automatic, like they’re out of our control. We may engage in them, even when we don't really want to. They may alleviate our distress and soothe our nervous systems temporarily, but typically that relief is short-lived. They may even increase our distress in the long run by reinforcing harmful patterns.
The Role of Survival Resources in Coping with Stress and TraumaI mentioned in my last blog post that there are two general categories of resources we can tap into when we need support coping with our experiences: Survival Resources and Generative Resources. Both categories are crucial to finding our resilience and reconnecting with our bodies. So let’s explore in a little more detail! First, what are survival resources? Survival Resources are resources or skills that have helped us to survive and to cope with stress and trauma, but which may not be generative or healing, and which may keep us feeling stuck over time. We might also refer to these as “coping mechanisms” or “survival strategies.” They typically support disconnection.Depending on the individual, some common survival resources may include:
- Regularly going along with other people’s preferences to avoid conflict
- Having really rigid, inflexible boundaries
- Not setting or maintaining boundaries at all
- Avoiding tasks or conversations that are unpleasant, emotional, or intimidating
- Always on the go, rarely slowing down or resting
- Seeking distractions (i.e. compulsive scrolling)
- Obsessing, ruminating, or intense anxiety
- Zoning out, shutting down, or numbing out (could include alcohol or other substances)
- Staying in relationships that are causing you more harm than good
It's easy to view our survival resources and strategies as limiting, problematic, or even bad. But it’s important to recognize that survival strategies are incredibly valuable, in fact life-saving, in traumatic circumstances. There's a really deep intelligence in our survival strategies. They are quite literally what helps us to survive, and to cope internally, with circumstances that would otherwise be intolerable.For many of us, our survival resources or coping mechanisms can feel compulsive, habitual, or automatic, like they’re out of our control. We may engage in them, even when we don't really want to. They may alleviate our distress and soothe our nervous systems temporarily, but typically that relief is short-lived. They may even increase our distress in the long run by reinforcing harmful patterns. While we need survival resources to get us through traumatic experiences, and other critical life moments when we’re not adequately supported, they aren’t always the best resources for the job. In my next post we will explore Generative Resources and the support they can provide. xo, Lindsay
More Posts
Want more?
Great! The best way to get the flavor of this work is to subscribe to my newsletter where I write about cultivating self-trust and resilience (with a cat or plant cameo sprinkled in).
[convertkit form=2328557]