If, like me, you’re a highly ambitious, perfectionistic, overachieving type for whom working hard and keeping others happy comes naturally, but resting and self-care feel weirdly difficult, you’re in good company.
There was a time in the not-so-distant past when I literally could not settle my nervous system enough to enjoy my weekends. Instead, I worked through almost every weekend. I let clients book healing sessions with me on Saturdays, in my home, which always involved a lot of tidying and preparation. I taught yoga on Sunday evenings, a beautiful Restorative & Reiki class that I loved, but which meant I had to very much “on” at a time when I really needed to rest.
And in between, I would spent a good chunk of my days “off” working on my business, answering emails, or doing coursework, all on my laptop, phone, and various screens… the exact thing I REALLY needed a break from after a long week.
Part of this was due to genuine ambition, a desire to serve, and a well-intended commitment to my clients and students. But underneath all that, I was being driven by anxiety, an overactive nervous system, a lack of boundaries and self-trust, and the fear that if I wasn’t available for my clients and business (nearly) 24/7, I would disappoint people, lose opportunities, and therefore wouldn’t be successful.
In continuing to work on and in my business on the weekend (not just occasionally, not just on an as-needed basis, but EVERY weekend), I was overriding my very real emotional and bodily needs. My needs for rest, connection, creative expression, play, and spaciousness were all majorly compromised. And, ultimately, it burned me out.
Since then, I’ve done a lot of work on my boundaries, self-trust, and resilience in the face of uncomfortable emotions. Now, my weekends are mostly spent away from screens, explicitly not working on my business. I do other things that could be considered work, such as housework, gardening, and taking courses, but I do so from a place of joy and desire, without the sense of looming pressure or obligation I used to experience.
Most importantly, I’m increasingly taking up more space in my own life. Which means I’m a lot less stressed and burnt out and a lot more creative, optimistic, and joyful.
If you’re ready to start repairing your relationship with yourself and your needs so that you can feel more resilient, confident, and easeful in your everyday life—without giving up on your ambitions—I would love to support you.
I’m currently accepting new one-on-one coaching clients. Just head over to my Work With Me page to request a free consultation and we’ll chat!