You’ve probably heard of fight/flight/freeze in response to stress. The fight/flight response (AKA the sympathetic nervous system response) kicks in when we’re in a stressful situation and our subconscious brain believes that we can successfully escape that situation, either through fighting or running away.
A boundary is not a wall.
A boundary is not even a limit.
And a boundary is definitely not about other people.
I want to offer you a radical, life-changing, paradigm shift:
A boundary is the energetic expression of your authentic self as it relates to honoring your needs, desires, values, and priorities.
If that sentence isn’t landing with you (don’t worry, I won’t be offended), read on.
Check out Episode 23 on Curiously Guided’s website: Trauma 101: What is Trauma? Relational Trauma + How to Become More Trauma-Informed in Your Work with Resilience and Self-Trust Coach Lindsay Tauscher.
If, like me, you’re a highly ambitious, perfectionistic, overachieving type for whom working hard and keeping others happy comes naturally, but resting and self-care feel weirdly difficult, you’re in good company.
This one-of-a-kind workbook is designed to help you illuminate the not-so-helpful habits that have been keeping you stuck and get crystal clear about the beneficial resources that are uniquely available to YOU.
When we take the time to consider how our survival strategies have been showing up in our lives, we may become aware of how they’re not really serving our highest good. Given this newfound knowledge, it can be tempting to try to do everything we can to avoid or let go of our survival strategies.
I care a lot about the topic of resilience because I believe that it is relevant to every single one of us. In my extensive work with clients and students, I’ve observed that how resilient someone is (or isn’t) is one of the biggest factors that determines their quality of life.
I can’t wait to share the full workbook, which will support you to expand your awareness of your resources and build your resiliency “toolbox.” The forthcoming Claiming Your Resources workbook has pages for you to fill out on your own, so you can get clear on what resources relate best to your life and your needs.
When we have the desire to become more resilient, more whole, and more empowered, we tend to be better served by generative resources. Not because they’re inherently “better” than survival resources. Rather, because they’re more effective at meeting our needs, building self-trust (rather than self-abandonment), and empowering us to live lives of our own choosing. As a result, we’re able to access a greater sense of connection, agency, vitality, and wellbeing.
For many of us, our survival resources or coping mechanisms can feel compulsive, habitual, or automatic, like they’re out of our control. We may engage in them, even when we don’t really want to. They may alleviate our distress and soothe our nervous systems temporarily, but typically that relief is short-lived. They may even increase our distress in the long run by reinforcing harmful patterns.