Your Nervous System Is Probably Overwhelmed (But It Doesn’t Have To Be)
You’ve probably heard of fight/flight/freeze in response to stress. The fight/flight response (AKA the sympathetic nervous system response) kicks in when we’re in a stressful situation and our subconscious brain believes that we can successfully escape that situation, either through fighting or running away.
If you’ve ever taken a yoga class with me, or received an energy healing session, or attended one of my workshops, you may already know a little bit about the nervous system. The nervous system is like a network that relays messages between the brain and our other bodily systems.
The nervous system plays a huge role in our stress response. And you may also know that sometimes, our nervous systems can get pretty overwhelmed, which can make us feel all kinds of crappy, ranging from anxious and irritable to numb, bored, or hopeless.
Here’s a little evolutionary neurobiology for you…
You’ve probably heard of fight/flight/freeze in response to stress. The fight/flight response kicks in when we’re in a stressful situation and our subconscious brain believes that we can successfully escape that situation, either through fighting or running away.
The fight/flight response is at play when you feel…
Anxious about saying the wrong thing in a job interview.
Worried that your sick family member isn’t going to recover from surgery.
Afraid that the shadow you saw out of the corner of your eye was someone following you.
Frustrated that your partner once again forgot to load the dishwasher.
Angry that some asshole took an illegal turn and nearly hit you.
On the other hand, the freeze response kicks in when we’re in a stressful situation and our subconscious brain believes that our best chance of survival is to become immobilized and play dead.
The freeze response is at play when you feel…
Stuck on the couch, exhausted, unable to get up.
Zoned out scrolling through Instagram.
Paralyzed, frozen with indecision.
Overwhelmed to the point of numbness and unable to feel.
So anxious that you literally can’t move or speak.
My guess is that most, if not all, of the above situations sound pretty familiar to you. It’s not an overstatement to say that stressful experiences like the ones I’ve just listed are a completely normal aspect of modern life.
And yet… it’s ALSO true that these so-called “normal” experiences—or at least, the way that we typically process these experiences—are burning us out.
Burnout is an intense form of physical and emotional exhaustion that happens when you're unable to keep up with life's incessant demands.
Why is burnout so prevalent these days? Because our brains and nervous systems did not evolve to process stress at the frequency or consistency that we experience stressors in modern life.
We evolved to experience a lot of stress all at once, then to either get mauled, eaten, or… to run away, recover, shake it off (literally) and move on with our lives.
We did NOT evolve to navigate a constant stream of stressors. Our ancient ancestors were not simultaneously juggling family drama, financial troubles, conflicts with coworkers and neighbors, a global pandemic, health insurance denying their claims, being stuck in traffic, seatmates not wearing facemasks on flights, tech glitches, or the entire INTERNET… all in the same day or week.
It’s no wonder that so many of us in the modern world are so damn stressed out and burnt out. Our brains and nervous systems literally did not evolve to handle the demands of modern life.
The good news? We DO have a decent amount of control over how we deal with our own stress.
Our bodies, brains, and nervous systems just need a little bit of specialized support to process that stress, heal our burnout, and come back to an internal sense of balance.
This is exactly why I created Somatic Summer Sessions and Boundaries for Burnout.
Two offerings.
One highly personalized one-on-one coaching experience.
One supportive, intimate, group coaching and teaching container.
Both are designed to help you feel less stressed and overwhelmed, and a lot more relaxed, confident, and capable… so you can actually enjoy this life you’ve worked so hard for.
Get all the details right here.
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Boundaries Are Not What You Think
A boundary is not a wall.A boundary is not even a limit.And a boundary is definitely not about other people.I want to offer you a radical, life-changing, paradigm shift:A boundary is the energetic expression of your authentic self as it relates to honoring your needs, desires, values, and priorities.If that sentence isn’t landing with you (don’t worry, I won’t be offended), read on.
When you hear the word “boundary,” what do you think of? You might think of a wall or some other barrier (either literal or metaphorical) that secures your personal or energetic space and keeps everyone else out.Or you may think that a boundary is about controlling other people’s behavior, to ensure that they follow rules that have been agreed upon in the relationship.Or you might think of a limit—specifically, the absolute limit of what you are willing to tolerate in a given relationship or situation.Or you may think of a line where you end and other people (and their expectations) begin. And if you’re like a lot of people, you might think that boundaries are about saying “no” to other people, and therefore that they disconnect you from other people.
I am here to tell you that a boundary is none of those things.
A boundary is not a wall.A boundary is not even a limit.And a boundary is definitely not about other people.
I want to offer you a radical, life-changing, paradigm shift:
A boundary is the energetic expression of your authentic self as it relates to honoring your needs, desires, values, and priorities.If that sentence isn’t landing with you (don’t worry, I won’t be offended), read on.
Here are some things that are true about boundaries:
Our boundaries are in service to our needs. They are what protect and support our needs in practice.Boundaries are 100% about you and your needs, wants, desires, values, and priorities… and 0% about other people or their behavior.Boundaries are about saying “yes” to something true, authentic, and alive within you.Boundaries are emergent. They emerge naturally as an expression of inner truth and are ever-changing as our needs and circumstances change.Boundaries are the container of trust in which connection and intimacy (across all types of relationships) occur joyfully and consensually. Honoring our own boundaries is an essential aspect of respecting, trusting, and partnering with ourselves.When we override our own boundaries—which may look like ignoring or not attending to our fundamental needs (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, etc…), or acting against our own values or priorities—is when we get burnt out. And finally, importantly…Burnout cannot happen when we are in integrity with our boundaries.In other words, if you’re feeling overworked, overwhelmed, exhausted, and/or burnt out, there’s a boundary issue at play.We’ll be digging into all this and more during Boundaries for Burnout: Four Weeks to Becoming More Resourced & Resilient as part of my Self-Care Summer Programming. I hope you’ll join us!
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My Claiming Your Resources Workbook is Here!
This one-of-a-kind workbook is designed to help you illuminate the not-so-helpful habits that have been keeping you stuck and get crystal clear about the beneficial resources that are uniquely available to YOU.
My Claiming Your Resources Workbook is Here! I'm so excited to share that my Claiming Your Resources workbook is finally here! This one-of-a-kind workbook is designed to help you illuminate the not-so-helpful habits that have been keeping you stuck and get crystal clear about the beneficial resources that are uniquely available to YOU. What's a resource, you ask? According to Dr. Albert Wong, the Director of Somatic Psychology at JFK University: “Resources are anything that a person can call upon, internal or external, that helps to reestablish a sense of well-being or safety in the world." Resources don’t have to be tangible. They can be anything at all that helps us to cope with what we’re experiencing, both within ourselves and from the environment and relationships around us. It can be as simple as taking a deep breath during a tense moment, or as complex as clarifying and communicating a boundary in an important relationship. Whatever we do to take care of ourselves when we're feeling stressed, triggered, or overwhelmed can be considered a resource. And resources are key to cultivating our resilience, establishing (or deepening) our self-trust, and navigating difficult situations without losing ourselves in the process. Inside the Claiming Your Resources workbook, you’ll learn about and explore...
- Why I believe resourcing yourself is essential to successfully navigating the curveballs life throws at you.
- An honest look at the ways self-care, community support, and systemic oppression intersect.
- An exercise to help you identify your stressors and triggers… and what to do when they disrupt your day.
- The difference between Survival Resources and Generative Resources explained (and why this distinction matters).
- Gentle practices for honoring the thoughts and behaviors that have been keeping you stuck.
- Your most effective resources in eight different categories, as well as practical tips for integrating them into your life.
Plus, you’ll also develop your own personal Roadmap to Resilience, so that you can be prepared with the tools to grow and thrive, wherever life’s journey takes you. And its all yours... for FREE! Yes, this is a totally free resource, at least for the foreseeable future (though I'll be honest... I put so much work into it that I will likely convert it to a paid product later this year, but not just yet). Just fill out the form in the green box below this post to get your free copy of the Claiming Your Resources workbook! A bit more info about the workbook can also be found here. I hope you get lots of benefit from this workbook! If you love it and you know someone else who would love it too, go ahead and forward this email to them so they can claim their copy (while it's still free)! xo,Lindsay
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Claim Your Resources Now!
Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]
What is Resilience and Why Does it Matter?
I care a lot about the topic of resilience because I believe that it is relevant to every single one of us. In my extensive work with clients and students, I’ve observed that how resilient someone is (or isn’t) is one of the biggest factors that determines their quality of life.
What is Resilience and Why Does it Matter?Let’s talk about resilience. What is it, and why does it matter?My forthcoming workbook is all about helping you resource yourself for resilience. I want to define resilience (as I use it) and explain why I think it matters and, more importantly, why it's relevant to you.According to the American Psychological Association, "Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress—such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors.”What strikes me about this definition is the phrase, "adapting well.” When we are adaptable—not tough or rigid, but flexible and responsive—we are able to show up for ourselves and our circumstances much more effectively. In becoming more resilient, we increase our capacity to tolerate—even flow with—challenging circumstances. Our nervous systems are literally able to process and be at ease with a wider range of experiences, from the mildly annoying to the truly intense. When we're resilient, we're much more equipped to navigate the stress of hardship and uncertainty with ease and grace.I care a lot about the topic of resilience because I believe that it is relevant to every single one of us. In my extensive work with clients and students, I’ve observed that how resilient someone is (or isn’t) is one of the biggest factors that determines their quality of life.The good news is resilience can be cultivated. How?By managing our stress, healing our trauma, advocating for our needs, enacting healthy boundaries, taking care of ourselves, leaning on our support systems… and of course, identifying and engaging with our resources.In my soon to be released Claiming Your Resources workbook, you'll have an opportunity not just to learn more about resources and how to utilize them, but some other tips and tricks to tap into your resilience. If you sign up for my newsletter (scroll down to the green form below), you’ll be among the first to receive a copy of the workbook once it’s released! Looking forward to sharing it with you soon.xo, Lindsay
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Claim Your Resources Now!
Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]
The Eight Categories of Generative Resources
I can’t wait to share the full workbook, which will support you to expand your awareness of your resources and build your resiliency “toolbox.” The forthcoming Claiming Your Resources workbook has pages for you to fill out on your own, so you can get clear on what resources relate best to your life and your needs.
The Eight Categories of Generative ResourcesAs important as our survival resources can be in helping us deal with stressful circumstances, they generally will not support us to heal, grow, or move forward. The resources that help us survive are rarely the ones that will enable us to thrive. That’s where Generative Resources come in!I’ve identified eight different but interrelated categories of Generative Resources. These categories are as follows: I’ve included an example of each to get you better acquainted with the idea of these distinct categories. Environmental Resources - such as physically connecting with your environment through your five senses. Somatic Resources - such as moving your body in a way that feels good to you.Emotional Resources - such as giving yourself time and space to feel and release emotions.Mental Resources - such as researching or studying a subject you’re passionate about.Interpersonal Resources - such as spending quality time with friends, family, or loved ones.Creative Resources - such as making something with your own hands, whether art, food, etc.Energetic Resources - such as setting healthy boundaries around your time and energy.Spiritual Resources - such as meditation, yoga, prayer, or religious practices. These categories tap into practical, essential aspects of our lives: our environment, our creativity, our relationships, our spirituality, and so on. Once you begin to look around you, you’ll notice that there are ways to resource yourself in nearly every situation. Simply pausing and noticing what you need in the moment is enough to begin your journey toward becoming better resourced and more resilient.I can’t wait to share the full workbook, which will support you to expand your awareness of your resources and build your resiliency “toolbox.” The forthcoming Claiming Your Resources workbook has pages for you to fill out on your own, so you can get clear on what resources relate best to your life and your needs. xo, Lindsay
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Claim Your Resources Now!
Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]
How Generative Resources Support Our Healing, Resilience, and Empowerment
When we have the desire to become more resilient, more whole, and more empowered, we tend to be better served by generative resources. Not because they're inherently "better" than survival resources. Rather, because they’re more effective at meeting our needs, building self-trust (rather than self-abandonment), and empowering us to live lives of our own choosing. As a result, we’re able to access a greater sense of connection, agency, vitality, and wellbeing.
How Generative Resources Support Our Healing, Resilience, and EmpowermentIn my last post, we talked about one of the two main categories of resources we can use to cope, called Survival Resources. Survival Resources are resources or skills that have helped us to survive and to cope with stress and trauma, but which may not be generative or healing, and which may keep us feeling stuck over time.In this post, I’d like to introduce you to the second category of resources, one that tends to be more restorative and resilience-building: Generative Resources.As important as our survival resources can be in helping us deal with stressful circumstances, they generally will not support us to heal, grow, or move forward. The resources that help us survive are rarely the ones that will enable us to thrive.Generative Resources are resources that help us to feel nourished, alive, connected, and cared for; they give us a sense of meaning and fulfillment. These are resources that have the potential to help us heal and grow. They are resources that support a sense of integration and wholeness. And importantly, they support connection with ourselves, and often with others.When we have the desire to become more resilient, more whole, and more empowered, we tend to be better served by generative resources. Not because they're inherently "better" than survival resources. Rather, because they’re more effective at meeting our needs, building self-trust (rather than self-abandonment), and empowering us to live lives of our own choosing. As a result, we’re able to access a greater sense of connection, agency, vitality, and wellbeing. In my next post, I’ll break down Generative Resources into eight categories. This is just a tiny sliver of what I’ll be sharing with you in my upcoming Claiming Your Resources workbook, which will be released later this month. Subscribe to my newsletter in the green form beneath this post and you’ll receive a copy once it’s released!xo, Lindsay
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Claim Your Resources Now!
Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]
What Are Resources and Why Do We Need Them?
Very soon I’ll be releasing a free downloadable workbook on my website, called Claiming Your Resources. This workbook will introduce you to resources that will help you not just survive, but thrive. I hope that it will help create a sense of grounding and safety in your body and mind as you navigate these challenging times.
What are resources, and why do we need them?
In case you haven’t been following along on Instagram, I am so excited to introduce you here to something I’ve been working on in the background for the last few months! Very soon I’ll be releasing a free downloadable workbook on my website, called Claiming Your Resources. This workbook will introduce you to resources that will help you not just survive, but thrive. I hope that it will help create a sense of grounding and safety in your body and mind as you navigate these challenging times.What are resources? According to Dr Albert Wong, “Resources are anything that a person can call upon, internal or external, that helps to reestablish a sense of well-being or safety in the world.”Resources don't necessarily have to be physical or even tangible. They can be anything that helps us to cope with what we're experiencing, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.Why might we need to re-establish a sense of well-being or safety? First, if we’ve experienced trauma. Trauma is the lasting emotional response to a distressing event that overwhelms our ability to cope. Trauma can also occur due to a lack of consistent care, attunement, and positive regard in our relationships, especially during our development. Secondly, whenever we’re experiencing stress. Even stress that does not result in trauma can feel overwhelming or unmanageable in the moment. We can think of resources in two general categories: Survival Resources and Generative Resources.In my next post, I’ll go into more detail about the two categories of resources and how you can best utilize them for your self-care. In the meantime, subscribe to my newsletter in the green form beneath this post and you’ll be among the first to receive a copy of the Claiming Your Resources workbook once it’s released!xo, Lindsay
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Claim Your Resources Now!
Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]