Your Nervous System Is Probably Overwhelmed (But It Doesn’t Have To Be)

If you’ve ever taken a yoga class with me, or received an energy healing session, or attended one of my workshops, you may already know a little bit about the nervous system. The nervous system is like a network that relays messages between the brain and our other bodily systems. 

The nervous system plays a huge role in our stress response. And you may also know that sometimes, our nervous systems can get pretty overwhelmed, which can make us feel all kinds of crappy, ranging from anxious and irritable to numb, bored, or hopeless.

Here’s a little evolutionary neurobiology for you…

You’ve probably heard of fight/flight/freeze in response to stress. The fight/flight response kicks in when we’re in a stressful situation and our subconscious brain believes that we can successfully escape that situation, either through fighting or running away. 

The fight/flight response is at play when you feel…

• Anxious about saying the wrong thing in a job interview.

• Worried that your sick family member isn’t going to recover from surgery.

• Afraid that the shadow you saw out of the corner of your eye was someone following you.

• Frustrated that your partner once again forgot to load the dishwasher.

• Angry that some asshole took an illegal turn and nearly hit you.

On the other hand, the freeze response kicks in when we’re in a stressful situation and our subconscious brain believes that our best chance of survival is to become immobilized and play dead.

The freeze response is at play when you feel…

• Stuck on the couch, exhausted, unable to get up.

• Zoned out scrolling through Instagram.

• Paralyzed, frozen with indecision.

• Overwhelmed to the point of numbness and unable to feel.

• So anxious that you literally can’t move or speak.

My guess is that most, if not all, of the above situations sound pretty familiar to you. It’s not an overstatement to say that stressful experiences like the ones I’ve just listed are a completely normal aspect of modern life.

And yet… it’s ALSO true that these so-called “normal” experiences—or at least, the way that we typically process these experiences—are burning us out.

Burnout is an intense form of physical and emotional exhaustion that happens when you're unable to keep up with life's incessant demands.

Why is burnout so prevalent these days? Because our brains and nervous systems did not evolve to process stress at the frequency or consistency that we experience stressors in modern life. 

We evolved to experience a lot of stress all at once, then to either get mauled, eaten, or… to run away, recover, shake it off (literally) and move on with our lives.

We did NOT evolve to navigate a constant stream of stressors. Our ancient ancestors were not simultaneously juggling family drama, financial troubles, conflicts with coworkers and neighbors, a global pandemic, health insurance denying their claims, being stuck in traffic, seatmates not wearing facemasks on flights, tech glitches, or the entire INTERNET… all in the same day or week. 

It’s no wonder that so many of us in the modern world are so damn stressed out and burnt out. Our brains and nervous systems literally did not evolve to handle the demands of modern life.

The good news? We DO have a decent amount of control over how we deal with our own stress.

Our bodies, brains, and nervous systems just need a little bit of specialized support to process that stress, heal our burnout, and come back to an internal sense of balance.

This is exactly why I created Somatic Summer Sessions and Boundaries for Burnout. 

Two offerings. 

One highly personalized one-on-one coaching experience.

One supportive, intimate, group coaching and teaching container.

Both are designed to help you feel less stressed and overwhelmed, and a lot more relaxed, confident, and capable… so you can actually enjoy this life you’ve worked so hard for.

Get all the details right here.

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Boundaries Are Not What You Think

When you hear the word “boundary,” what do you think of? You might think of a wall or some other barrier (either literal or metaphorical) that secures your personal or energetic space and keeps everyone else out.Or you may think that a boundary is about controlling other people’s behavior, to ensure that they follow rules that have been agreed upon in the relationship.Or you might think of a limit—specifically, the absolute limit of what you are willing to tolerate in a given relationship or situation.Or you may think of a line where you end and other people (and their expectations) begin. And if you’re like a lot of people, you might think that boundaries are about saying “no” to other people, and therefore that they disconnect you from other people.

I am here to tell you that a boundary is none of those things.

A boundary is not a wall.A boundary is not even a limit.And a boundary is definitely not about other people.

I want to offer you a radical, life-changing, paradigm shift: 

A boundary is the energetic expression of your authentic self as it relates to honoring your needs, desires, values, and priorities.If that sentence isn’t landing with you (don’t worry, I won’t be offended), read on.

Here are some things that are true about boundaries:

Our boundaries are in service to our needs. They are what protect and support our needs in practice.Boundaries are 100% about you and your needs, wants, desires, values, and priorities… and 0% about other people or their behavior.Boundaries are about saying “yes” to something true, authentic, and alive within you.Boundaries are emergent. They emerge naturally as an expression of inner truth and are ever-changing as our needs and circumstances change.Boundaries are the container of trust in which connection and intimacy (across all types of relationships) occur joyfully and consensually. Honoring our own boundaries is an essential aspect of respecting, trusting, and partnering with ourselves.When we override our own boundaries—which may look like ignoring or not attending to our fundamental needs (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, etc…), or acting against our own values or priorities—is when we get burnt out. And finally, importantly…Burnout cannot happen when we are in integrity with our boundaries.In other words, if you’re feeling overworked, overwhelmed, exhausted, and/or burnt out, there’s a boundary issue at play.We’ll be digging into all this and more during Boundaries for Burnout: Four Weeks to Becoming More Resourced & Resilient as part of my Self-Care Summer Programming. I hope you’ll join us!

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My CURIOUSLY GUIDED podcast interview just dropped!

My CURIOUSLY GUIDED podcast interview just dropped!I am so excited to share that my interview on the Curiously Guided Podcast is finally live!​Curiously Guided, hosted by Shay Schindler and Mariah Liszewski, shares stories of curious humans dedicated to building life and business on their own terms. Mariah and Shay are are two intuitive business strategists exploring the intersection of entrepreneurship, spirituality and the subconscious mind.I was so thrilled to be able to have a chat with them — and I'm even more thrilled to be able to share it with you.​​In this episode, we discussed:

• What relational trauma is and how it’s incredibly common, yet under-recognized (more likely than not, it’s impacting you and you don’t even know it!)

• Why our authentic self-expression is so often compromised in childhood, and what this means for us as adults

• Perfectionism and people pleasing as brilliant survival adaptations (and what to do if they’re no longer serving you anymore)

• How a lack of emotional attunement when we were young can impact our self-concept and wellbeing as adults

• The importance of creating a more trauma-informed world so that we can better meet people where they are

• Plus, my journey to becoming a trauma-informed Resilience & Self Trust Coach

And so much more!Check out Episode 23 on Curiously Guided's website: Trauma 101: What is Trauma? Relational Trauma + How to Become More Trauma-Informed in Your Work with Resilience and Self-Trust Coach Lindsay Tauscher.By the way... If you have the chance to give the epsiode a listen, I would love it if you could reply to this email and let me know the #1 thing you got out of my conversation with Shay and Mariah.Can't wait to hear what you think!xo,Lindsay

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How One Ambitious Overachiever Learned to Rest

If, like me, you're a highly ambitious, perfectionistic, overachieving type for whom working hard and keeping others happy comes naturally, but resting and self-care feel weirdly difficult, you're in good company. There was a time in the not-so-distant past when I literally could not settle my nervous system enough to enjoy my weekends. Instead, I worked through almost every weekend. I let clients book healing sessions with me on Saturdays, in my home, which always involved a lot of tidying and preparation. I taught yoga on Sunday evenings, a beautiful Restorative & Reiki class that I loved, but which meant I had to very much "on" at a time when I really needed to rest. And in between, I would spent a good chunk of my days "off" working on my business, answering emails, or doing coursework, all on my laptop, phone, and various screens... the exact thing I REALLY needed a break from after a long week. Part of this was due to genuine ambition, a desire to serve, and a well-intended commitment to my clients and students. But underneath all that, I was being driven by anxiety, an overactive nervous system, a lack of boundaries and self-trust, and the fear that if I wasn't available for my clients and business (nearly) 24/7, I would disappoint people, lose opportunities, and therefore wouldn't be successful. In continuing to work on and in my business on the weekend (not just occasionally, not just on an as-needed basis, but EVERY weekend), I was overriding my very real emotional and bodily needs. My needs for rest, connection, creative expression, play, and spaciousness were all majorly compromised. And, ultimately, it burned me out. Since then, I've done a lot of work on my boundaries, self-trust, and resilience in the face of uncomfortable emotions. Now, my weekends are mostly spent away from screens, explicitly not working on my business. I do other things that could be considered work, such as housework, gardening, and taking courses, but I do so from a place of joy and desire, without the sense of looming pressure or obligation I used to experience. Most importantly, I'm increasingly taking up more space in my own life. Which means I'm a lot less stressed and burnt out and a lot more creative, optimistic, and joyful. If you're ready to start repairing your relationship with yourself and your needs so that you can feel more resilient, confident, and easeful in your everyday life⁠—without giving up on your ambitions⁠—I would love to support you. I'm currently accepting new one-on-one coaching clients. Just head over to my Work With Me page to request a free consultation and we'll chat! xo, Lindsay

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Claim Your Resources Now!

Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]

My Claiming Your Resources Workbook is Here!

My Claiming Your Resources Workbook is Here! I'm so excited to share that my Claiming Your Resources workbook is finally here! This one-of-a-kind workbook is designed to help you illuminate the not-so-helpful habits that have been keeping you stuck and get crystal clear about the beneficial resources that are uniquely available to YOU. What's a resource, you ask? According to Dr. Albert Wong, the Director of Somatic Psychology at JFK University: “Resources are anything that a person can call upon, internal or external, that helps to reestablish a sense of well-being or safety in the world." Resources don’t have to be tangible. They can be anything at all that helps us to cope with what we’re experiencing, both within ourselves and from the environment and relationships around us. It can be as simple as taking a deep breath during a tense moment, or as complex as clarifying and communicating a boundary in an important relationship. Whatever we do to take care of ourselves when we're feeling stressed, triggered, or overwhelmed can be considered a resource. And resources are key to cultivating our resilience, establishing (or deepening) our self-trust, and navigating difficult situations without losing ourselves in the process. Inside the Claiming Your Resources workbook, you’ll learn about and explore... 

• Why I believe resourcing yourself is essential to successfully navigating the curveballs life throws at you.
• An honest look at the ways self-care, community support, and systemic oppression intersect.
• An exercise to help you identify your stressors and triggers… and what to do when they disrupt your day.
• The difference between Survival Resources and Generative Resources explained (and why this distinction matters).
• Gentle practices for honoring the thoughts and behaviors that have been keeping you stuck.
• Your most effective resources in eight different categories, as well as practical tips for integrating them into your life.

Plus, you’ll also develop your own personal Roadmap to Resilience, so that you can be prepared with the tools to grow and thrive, wherever life’s journey takes you. And its all yours... for FREE! Yes, this is a totally free resource, at least for the foreseeable future (though I'll be honest... I put so much work into it that I will likely convert it to a paid product later this year, but not just yet). Just fill out the form in the green box below this post to get your free copy of the Claiming Your Resources workbook! A bit more info about the workbook can also be found here. I hope you get lots of benefit from this workbook! If you love it and you know someone else who would love it too, go ahead and forward this email to them so they can claim their copy (while it's still free)! xo,Lindsay

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Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]

A Note About Survival Resources

A Note About Survival ResourcesWhen we take the time to consider how our survival strategies have been showing up in our lives, we may become aware of how they're not really serving our highest good. Given this newfound knowledge, it can be tempting to try to do everything we can to avoid or let go of our survival strategies.(NOTE: If the concept of survival strategies is new to you, check out my previous post on “The Role of Survival Resources in Coping with Stress and Trauma” to learn more.)You may be familiar with the concept of "releasing what no longer serves you." While it's a well-intentioned sentiment, the reality is that we don't simply "release" our survival strategies with conscious intention alone. If we could do that, most of us would probably have done so by now.The hard—but hopefully, liberating—truth is that our survival strategies will naturally begin to soften their grip on us when we no longer need them... and not a moment sooner.Rather than making huge efforts to monitor, avoid, and interrupt our strategies, we can focus on two things that will actually support the transformation we're seeking:#1 - We can gently, gradually introduce generative resources.#2 - We can seek out the support of a trauma-informed coach, therapist, or other practitioner who can skillfully guide us to resolve the underlying impulses that are driving our survival strategies in the first place.My forthcoming workbook focuses on resources, because it's what I'm able to offer in a written format.That said, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to work with a trauma-informed practitioner. There is no replacement for having someone who can witness our hurt, affirm our humanity, and gently guide us toward healing.Ideally, we would engage with both of these approaches at once for the greatest efficacy. Especially because so much of our suffering is caused by relational wounding, having a relationship with a professional who holds you in consistent positive regard, whose sole intention is to support your healing, is absolutely essential.My full workbook on Claiming Your Resources will be released soon. Make sure you’re signed up for my mailing list to receive your copy (just scroll down to the green form beneath this post to subscribe)!Xo, Lindsay

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Claim Your Resources Now!

Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]

What is Resilience and Why Does it Matter?

What is Resilience and Why Does it Matter?Let’s talk about resilience. What is it, and why does it matter?My forthcoming workbook is all about helping you resource yourself for resilience. I want to define resilience (as I use it) and explain why I think it matters and, more importantly, why it's relevant to you.According to the American Psychological Association, "Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress—such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors.”What strikes me about this definition is the phrase, "adapting well.” When we are adaptable—not tough or rigid, but flexible and responsive—we are able to show up for ourselves and our circumstances much more effectively. In becoming more resilient, we increase our capacity to tolerate—even flow with—challenging circumstances. Our nervous systems are literally able to process and be at ease with a wider range of experiences, from the mildly annoying to the truly intense. When we're resilient, we're much more equipped to navigate the stress of hardship and uncertainty with ease and grace.I care a lot about the topic of resilience because I believe that it is relevant to every single one of us. In my extensive work with clients and students, I’ve observed that how resilient someone is (or isn’t) is one of the biggest factors that determines their quality of life.The good news is resilience can be cultivated. How?By managing our stress, healing our trauma, advocating for our needs, enacting healthy boundaries, taking care of ourselves, leaning on our support systems… and of course, identifying and engaging with our resources.In my soon to be released Claiming Your Resources workbook, you'll have an opportunity not just to learn more about resources and how to utilize them, but some other tips and tricks to tap into your resilience. If you sign up for my newsletter (scroll down to the green form below), you’ll be among the first to receive a copy of the workbook once it’s released! Looking forward to sharing it with you soon.xo, Lindsay

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Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]

The Eight Categories of Generative Resources

The Eight Categories of Generative ResourcesAs important as our survival resources can be in helping us deal with stressful circumstances, they generally will not support us to heal, grow, or move forward. The resources that help us survive are rarely the ones that will enable us to thrive. That’s where Generative Resources come in!I’ve identified eight different but interrelated categories of Generative Resources. These categories are as follows: I’ve included an example of each to get you better acquainted with the idea of these distinct categories. Environmental Resources - such as physically connecting with your environment through your five senses. Somatic Resources - such as moving your body in a way that feels good to you.Emotional Resources - such as giving yourself time and space to feel and release emotions.Mental Resources - such as researching or studying a subject you’re passionate about.Interpersonal Resources - such as spending quality time with friends, family, or loved ones.Creative Resources - such as making something with your own hands, whether art, food, etc.Energetic Resources - such as setting healthy boundaries around your time and energy.Spiritual Resources - such as meditation, yoga, prayer, or religious practices. These categories tap into practical, essential aspects of our lives: our environment, our creativity, our relationships, our spirituality, and so on. Once you begin to look around you, you’ll notice that there are ways to resource yourself in nearly every situation. Simply pausing and noticing what you need in the moment is enough to begin your journey toward becoming better resourced and more resilient.I can’t wait to share the full workbook, which will support you to expand your awareness of your resources and build your resiliency “toolbox.” The forthcoming Claiming Your Resources workbook has pages for you to fill out on your own, so you can get clear on what resources relate best to your life and your needs. xo, Lindsay

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Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]

How Generative Resources Support Our Healing, Resilience, and Empowerment

How Generative Resources Support Our Healing, Resilience, and EmpowermentIn my last post, we talked about one of the two main categories of resources we can use to cope, called Survival Resources. Survival Resources are resources or skills that have helped us to survive and to cope with stress and trauma, but which may not be generative or healing, and which may keep us feeling stuck over time.In this post, I’d like to introduce you to the second category of resources, one that tends to be more restorative and resilience-building: Generative Resources.As important as our survival resources can be in helping us deal with stressful circumstances, they generally will not support us to heal, grow, or move forward. The resources that help us survive are rarely the ones that will enable us to thrive.Generative Resources are resources that help us to feel nourished, alive, connected, and cared for; they give us a sense of meaning and fulfillment. These are resources that have the potential to help us heal and grow. They are resources that support a sense of integration and wholeness. And importantly, they support connection with ourselves, and often with others.When we have the desire to become more resilient, more whole, and more empowered, we tend to be better served by generative resources. Not because they're inherently "better" than survival resources. Rather, because they’re more effective at meeting our needs, building self-trust (rather than self-abandonment), and empowering us to live lives of our own choosing. As a result, we’re able to access a greater sense of connection, agency, vitality, and wellbeing. In my next post, I’ll break down Generative Resources into eight categories. This is just a tiny sliver of what I’ll be sharing with you in my upcoming Claiming Your Resources workbook, which will be released later this month. Subscribe to my newsletter in the green form beneath this post and you’ll receive a copy once it’s released!xo, Lindsay

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Claim Your Resources Now!

Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]

The Role of Survival Resources in Coping with Stress and Trauma

The Role of Survival Resources in Coping with Stress and TraumaI mentioned in my last blog post that there are two general categories of resources we can tap into when we need support coping with our experiences: Survival Resources and Generative Resources. Both categories are crucial to finding our resilience and reconnecting with our bodies. So let’s explore in a little more detail! First, what are survival resources? Survival Resources are resources or skills that have helped us to survive and to cope with stress and trauma, but which may not be generative or healing, and which may keep us feeling stuck over time. We might also refer to these as “coping mechanisms” or “survival strategies.” They typically support disconnection.Depending on the individual, some common survival resources may include:  

• Regularly going along with other people’s preferences to avoid conflict
• Having really rigid, inflexible boundaries
• Not setting or maintaining boundaries at all
• Avoiding tasks or conversations that are unpleasant, emotional, or intimidating
• Always on the go, rarely slowing down or resting
• Seeking distractions (i.e. compulsive scrolling)
• Obsessing, ruminating, or intense anxiety
• Zoning out, shutting down, or numbing out (could include alcohol or other substances)
• Staying in relationships that are causing you more harm than good

It's easy to view our survival resources and strategies as limiting, problematic, or even bad. But it’s important to recognize that survival strategies are incredibly valuable, in fact life-saving, in traumatic circumstances. There's a really deep intelligence in our survival strategies. They are quite literally what helps us to survive, and to cope internally, with circumstances that would otherwise be intolerable.For many of us, our survival resources or coping mechanisms can feel compulsive, habitual, or automatic, like they’re out of our control. We may engage in them, even when we don't really want to. They may alleviate our distress and soothe our nervous systems temporarily, but typically that relief is short-lived. They may even increase our distress in the long run by reinforcing harmful patterns. While we need survival resources to get us through traumatic experiences, and other critical life moments when we’re not adequately supported, they aren’t always the best resources for the job. In my next post we will explore Generative Resources and the support they can provide.  xo, Lindsay

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What Are Resources and Why Do We Need Them?

What are resources, and why do we need them?

In case you haven’t been following along on Instagram, I am so excited to introduce you here to something I’ve been working on in the background for the last few months! Very soon I’ll be releasing a free downloadable workbook on my website, called Claiming Your Resources. This workbook will introduce you to resources that will help you not just survive, but thrive. I hope that it will help create a sense of grounding and safety in your body and mind as you navigate these challenging times.What are resources? According to Dr Albert Wong, “Resources are anything that a person can call upon, internal or external, that helps to reestablish a sense of well-being or safety in the world.”Resources don't necessarily have to be physical or even tangible. They can be anything that helps us to cope with what we're experiencing, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.Why might we need to re-establish a sense of well-being or safety? First, if we’ve experienced trauma. Trauma is the lasting emotional response to a distressing event that overwhelms our ability to cope. Trauma can also occur due to a lack of consistent care, attunement, and positive regard in our relationships, especially during our development. Secondly, whenever we’re experiencing stress. Even stress that does not result in trauma can feel overwhelming or unmanageable in the moment. We can think of resources in two general categories: Survival Resources and Generative Resources.In my next post, I’ll go into more detail about the two categories of resources and how you can best utilize them for your self-care. In the meantime, subscribe to my newsletter in the green form beneath this post and you’ll be among the first to receive a copy of the Claiming Your Resources workbook once it’s released!xo, Lindsay

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Join my mailing list and receive a FREE 43-page guide to claiming the unique resources you need to stay resilient while navigating life’s ups and downs (without abandoning your own self-care).You’ll also receive occasional newsletters where I offer guidance on how to move through life with more ease & self-trust, provide opportunities to deepen this work, and share plenty of adorable cat photos!You can unsubscribe at any time.[convertkit form=3207002]

When toughing it out alone isn't enough

When toughing it out alone isn't enough

I've been reflecting a lot lately on how transformative it can be to ask for help. How absolutely life-changing it can be to receive support. So many things become possible when we get the right support. Less stress and overwhelm, more ease, grace, and alignment with our goals and values. When we're not trying to be all things to all people, or tackle every last item on our to do list alone, we gain the freedom to live in a way that feels authentically good and right to us. We're able to breathe a little more easily knowing we don't have to figure it all out by ourselves, because other people are there to help us through. And, while I don't want to suggest that productivity is the most important thing, it's also true that receiving support enables us to be more easefully—and joyfully—productive. No one enjoys having to put out fires all the time, alone. No one enjoys having to navigate big feelings, major hardships, challenging relationship dynamics, or painful traumas alone. Yet so often, we hesitate to ask for the help we need. We assume there must be something wrong with us if we're not 100% self-sufficient. We worry that others will perceive us as incompetent if we're not able to do it all ourselves. So we stay quiet and attempt to power through, alone, until we're exhausted, discouraged, left wondering where we went wrong. The truth is, you don't need to try harder. You don't need to strive more. You don't need to tough it out. I'm here to tell you unequivocally: You do not have to work hard to earn the support you need. You don't have to wait until you've exhausted every last effort. You are not in any way incompetent for needing (or perhaps simply wanting) help. You deserve to be supported right now simply because you are human. Especially when it comes to your healing. We do not heal alone, in a vacuum, shut away from other people. The hard truth is that much of the time, we require caring relationships to heal. You are worthy of the support you need to heal. You are innately deserving of the ease, trust, and freedom that will allow you to thrive. If you're ready to receive the support you need and deserve, I would be honored to be in your corner. Apply to work together right here. xo

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You can unsubscribe at any time.

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You are more than deserving of support

You Are More Than Deserving Of Support

I have to admit that it took me a reaaaally long time to sit down and write this post. Like... weeks, maybe even a month. The writing that I do for my newsletters, social media, and now blog(!) feels SO important that it brings up all sorts of old stories and painful self-doubts. My inner dialogue tends to go something like this:

• Is my writing smart enough? Articulate enough? Engaging enough?

• I hope people find this valuable/useful/helpful, but maybe I'm just annoying them, ugh.

• Does anyone actually care what I have to say?

• Why does this always take me SO LONG?!? I've been sitting here for an hour already!

• OMG, what if none of this makes any sense??

I don't know about you, but when I'm really invested in something I care about, I tend to develop a lot of fear around it... which more often than not, presents as procrastination and avoidance.

I used to wonder why this is. If I care SO much about something, why do I drain my energy by avoiding it for days, weeks, even months on end? It made no sense to me.

Now I know that all that procrastination and all the avoidance (and all the self-shaming that goes along with it) are trying to keep me safe.

Why? Because even though my logical brain knows that it's really not such a big deal,part of me is terribly afraid making mistakes. Part of me, a much younger part of me, is deeply afraid of embarrassing myself. Of disappointing other people. Of being rejected. Of—god forbid—failing. Of never, ever, being good enough, no matter how hard I try.

When I'm in that headspace, I can't help but put an immense amount of pressure on myself to get it right, whatever "it" is. Ideally, to do it all perfectly.

And of course, it goes without saying that "doing it all perfectly" invariably means "doing it all alone."

• No matter how difficult the task is (or how utterly unqualified I am to do it).

• No matter how swamped I am with other work and commitments.

• No matter how many sick foster kittens have been keeping me up at night.

• No matter how mentally and emotionally drained I am from living through a pandemic.

• No matter how much sleep I have or haven't gotten, how hydrated I am, or how exhausted from coordinating a million different little things.

• Like so many of us, I have internalized that self-worth exists in direct relation to my productivity and my success (or lack thereof).

Further, I learned from a young age that if I had any hope of receiving the (actually very conditional) "unconditional" love I craved, I better be pretty darn perfect. And to be perfect meant to figure it out, to suck it up, to look good and perform well, and to abandon my needs in the process. And of course, true perfection meant that I should never need to ask for help.

When I step back and evaluate these beliefs from my adult vantage point, I can see how utterly unreasonable—and how utterly heartbreaking—they are.

And yet, to this day, it can still be hard for me to ask for help. Often, I'm so used to doing everything myself, that I don't even know what to ask for or where to begin. Maybe on some level you struggle with this, too.

Asking for help brings up many difficult emotions, undoubtedly. Yet when I look around, I am surrounded by evidence that when I get the right help, I am actually much better off for it.

• If I hadn't worked with a web designer and a copywriter, I wouldn't have a website that represents me and my work.

• If I hadn't hired a house cleaner, I would waste precious time and energy just trying to maintain my space.

• If I hadn't hired an accountant, I would surely have the IRS on speed dial to fix my tax filing errors.

• If I hadn't accepted a friend's offer to help organize my closets, I'd still be drowning in old clothes I no longer wear.

• If I hadn't committed to working with a coach and a therapist, I would be living in a state of chronic anxiety and overwhelm.

At this point, I have enough experience to know that I cannot do it all alone, even if the scared child inside of me thinks I have to. I now know that a self-sufficient life is a figment of our collective imaginations. We always have and always will need each other. Our interdependency is part of what makes us human, and that's a good thing.

Recently, I made the decision to seek a level of support beyond what I had ever sought before. I decided to stop trying to power through the various business-related tasks that have been keeping me drained and overwhelmed. (Oh my god, there are so many.) I finally decided that I am deserving of the support I have needed for a long time now.

Without further ado, I am delighted to introduce you to my new Virtual Assistant, Miranda! In their own words:

Miranda (she/they) is a business owner, makeup artist, educator, and producer. Their multi-layered talents intersect with mindfulness and self-care to create a powerhouse of strategic knowledge and logical magic. Miranda loves peonies, animals, Halloween, crystals, coffee, the smell of rain, glitter, rainbows, and the sound of babies laughing too hard. She is thrilled to be joining Lindsay to make Work With Lindsay work for you!

I truly could not be more grateful to have someone as talented, dedicated, and empathetic as Miranda on my team. After many years of teetering on the edge of burnout from trying to do it all alone, Miranda's support comes at the perfect time.

I have learned that asking for help is THE thing that creates better outcomes in my life, relationships, and business. I spend more time focusing on the things I love and care about, and less time trying to problem solve the stuff I hate doing, just because it has to get done by someone, somehow. And that means less stress, less overwhelm, and more time for joy, pleasure, and connection... both with myself and those I love.

Most importantly of all: When I have the right support, I no longer have to strive to be perfect. Instead, I am free to be exactly who I am, with all my talents and flaws. I can simply do my best and trust others to do their best, because I know we're committed to figuring it out, together.

I want this ease, trust, and freedom for you, too.

If you're ready to receive the support you need and deserve, I would be honored to be in your corner.

If you're eager to dive in, skip on over here and fill out the questionnaire. Once you tell me little bit about you, I'll reach out so we can schedule a time to connect.

Sending you so much grace and love.

xo,

Lindsay

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