You’ve probably heard of fight/flight/freeze in response to stress. The fight/flight response (AKA the sympathetic nervous system response) kicks in when we’re in a stressful situation and our subconscious brain believes that we can successfully escape that situation, either through fighting or running away.
A boundary is not a wall.
A boundary is not even a limit.
And a boundary is definitely not about other people.
I want to offer you a radical, life-changing, paradigm shift:
A boundary is the energetic expression of your authentic self as it relates to honoring your needs, desires, values, and priorities.
If that sentence isn’t landing with you (don’t worry, I won’t be offended), read on.
Check out Episode 23 on Curiously Guided’s website: Trauma 101: What is Trauma? Relational Trauma + How to Become More Trauma-Informed in Your Work with Resilience and Self-Trust Coach Lindsay Tauscher.
When we take the time to consider how our survival strategies have been showing up in our lives, we may become aware of how they’re not really serving our highest good. Given this newfound knowledge, it can be tempting to try to do everything we can to avoid or let go of our survival strategies.
I care a lot about the topic of resilience because I believe that it is relevant to every single one of us. In my extensive work with clients and students, I’ve observed that how resilient someone is (or isn’t) is one of the biggest factors that determines their quality of life.
I can’t wait to share the full workbook, which will support you to expand your awareness of your resources and build your resiliency “toolbox.” The forthcoming Claiming Your Resources workbook has pages for you to fill out on your own, so you can get clear on what resources relate best to your life and your needs.
When we have the desire to become more resilient, more whole, and more empowered, we tend to be better served by generative resources. Not because they’re inherently “better” than survival resources. Rather, because they’re more effective at meeting our needs, building self-trust (rather than self-abandonment), and empowering us to live lives of our own choosing. As a result, we’re able to access a greater sense of connection, agency, vitality, and wellbeing.
For many of us, our survival resources or coping mechanisms can feel compulsive, habitual, or automatic, like they’re out of our control. We may engage in them, even when we don’t really want to. They may alleviate our distress and soothe our nervous systems temporarily, but typically that relief is short-lived. They may even increase our distress in the long run by reinforcing harmful patterns.
Very soon I’ll be releasing a free downloadable workbook on my website, called Claiming Your Resources. This workbook will introduce you to resources that will help you not just survive, but thrive. I hope that it will help create a sense of grounding and safety in your body and mind as you navigate these challenging times.
I’m here to tell you unequivocally: You do not have to work hard to earn the support you need. You don’t have to wait until you’ve exhausted every last effort. You are not in any way incompetent for needing (or perhaps simply wanting) help.
You deserve to be supported right now simply because you are human.
I don’t know about you, but when I’m really invested in something I care about, I tend to develop a lot of fear around it… which more often than not, presents as procrastination and avoidance.
I used to wonder why this is. If I care SO much about something, why do I drain my energy by avoiding it for days, weeks, even months on end? It made no sense to me.
Now I know that all that procrastination and all the avoidance (and all the self-shaming that goes along with it) are trying to keep me safe.
On January 1st, 2021, I took my website, homegrownhealing.com, offline.
It was a tough decision to make. As some of you know, I had operated my practice under the name Homegrown Healing since 2015, which feels like a pretty long time at this point.
I still remember sitting on the floor of my old living room (two apartments ago), flipping through books, looking for any inspiration I could find to come up with the perfect name for my burgeoning business.
Claim Your Resources Now!
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